By Melanie Kim Brockwell in My Daily Journal

I can’t do that, I can only do this

6 August 2023

I haven’t been able to meditate with my eyes closed lately. And every time I feel to embody, it doesn’t happen. Not the way it used to. For a week or so I just let it slide but then I started to wonder if I was doing it wrong. If maybe I wasn’t staying present moment centred enough to get into my body the way I usually do — deep and strong, beneath waves of blackness, able to discern insight without language and coming out of that darkness and up for air with a renewed sense of purpose and knowing-without-knowing.

Then, enough time passes, and enough confirmations come in to tell me how I am on the right track and confirm the messages I think I’m receiving are loud and clear and from reliable sources… that I reconsider my position.

Maybe I’m not meant to be embodying right now. At least not the way I usually do. Maybe something else is happening and this is okay, for now. And, if that’s true, maybe I’ll be getting information-guidance-instruction from another source, like Enlightenment.

Maybe.

Or, maybe I am still embodying but differently (as one friend suggested). Maybe that’s possible too. I don’t know. I can’t say. All that comes up for me is this:

I can’t do that; I can only do this.