Feeling it comes later. First, I do what I’m told, without knowing what or that I’m doing it. It’s an intuitive doing. An active intuition. I get my instructions, doing.

The knowing and cognitive parts start rearranging my world, all across the universe, and that brings with it feelings. Feelings and emotionality. Anger, lately, which doesn’t often revisit me, has been awakened. Big time!

Letting that be is great, easy, fine, and flowing. I don’t know what it is, only that it is. Then yesterday I got this sense of how the thing, the doing thing comes first. Then my world starts to rearrange me cognitively, new ideas about boundaries, about the fact that being able to state my facts is not a form of manipulation.

That, reminding people of what they’ve promised me, is not un-gentle. And that being able to communicate my needs, as we arranged them together, previously, out loud, from their perspective, the actual words out of their mouth or contract they signed, and so on, is okay for me to demand or command or communicate clearly. And that none of that goes out-of-bounds of gentleness – where I like to live, where I recognise myself as at my centreship.

Most people, it occurred to me, as I realised this about myself, do it the other way around. That is, most people do the thinking first, deal with the emotional fallout, then, as a final step, change their behaviour.

Just saying.

Melanie Kim Brockwell

I offer readings of life's raw experience by way of symbolic interpretation. My passion is caring for (and adding to) our animal rescue family.

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